There's got to be an app for that

The puppy's toy has stuffing coming out it's face, the comforter has stuffing coming out of its seams, the hubby's sweater has busted a hole, and my halloween costume is handmade...better learn how to use a needle and thread.  Growing up I can not remember, not once, my mother ever sewing ANYTHING...so not having the slightest idea how to even thread a needle...I come by that naturally.  That's ok, I'll just teach myself.  I mean I made it through nursing school, I'm certain I can sew a straight line.  To the trusty iPhone I go, and low and behold, there is an app for that!  AppWarrior Sewing Guide is going to teach me everything I need to know to crack the code of the perfect stitch!  So with the confidence of Betsey Ross and my supplies to create the perfect Black Swan costume close at hand, I sit on the living room floor and prepare to thread my needle...which honestly I feel like any idiot could figure out.  I cut my piece of thread and reach for my....damnit! Where did I put the needle!! Hardly the type of thing you want laying around on the living room floor.  So after searching frantically, I find it exactly where it should be...directly in front of me.  Okay, step one: thread the needle...where is the damn thread??  August (the before mentioned puppy) is proudly prancing around the living room, thread dangling from his mouth.  After rescuing the slobbery black string from the jaws of death, I once again prepare to begin my project with a second wind of enthusiasm.  Except getting the thread through that teeny tiny metal loop is not the piece of proverbial cake I thought it was going to be...what does the app say? Hold up to the light...Got it! Yeah baby! Wait...where is the thread going?? AUGUST!! Drop it!  That's it...your mischievous ass is going in the kitchen.  Back to square frickin one.  All the while, the hubs is laid out on the couch playing poker on the Xbox and our oldest pup is busy sawing logs, hardly noticing our living room has quickly elevated to DEFCON 1.  I will not give up...I will thread this damn needle and I will sew this ribbon on to these slippers.  I do not care how long it takes me.  A few more fruitless tries to get the tiny string through the tiny hole and... YES!!  Needle is threaded and sewing is underway...the actual sewing part turned out to be the proverbial piece of cake I so love to indulge in.  Tonight's agenda includes August's Kong Monkey, whose face I am going to sew right shut.
Lesson learned...If you don't know how...figure it out.  And put the puppy in the kitchen.